In this third excerpt, taken from Chapter 12 of SCORPIO RISING, we continue to follow the steps of astrologer Axel Crowe who, after 14 years of strict tutelage under his fierce Tantrik guru, is cast off to swim on his own.
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Axel Crowe rode the streetcar from Queen Street West across the city to The Beach, almost an hour between his place and Gurujiâs. Occasionally he drove his car but often used public transit. Aside from minimizing his eco-footprint, the trip gave him time to observe and think. Tonight he had a lot to think about.
Guruji had cut him loose.
Crowe had seen it coming from a distance. Traditional wisdom held that when Jupiter and Rahu, the ascending node in the Moonâs orbit, occupied the same sign, rifts developed between teacher and student. The phenomenon was called Guru-Chandala Yoga. Guru was the teacher, while Chandala were people who hunted animals or traded in skin and bones. Although not taken literally, it implied a difference in values that ran the gamut from dietary to intellectual, moral, sexual and spiritual.
Metaphysics aside, there was a mundane element. Crowe had studied with Guruji for fourteen years. For thirteen years heâd rented apartments in the Parkdale neighborhood where a former mental institution had been closed due to budget cuts and many of its inmates set free on the streets. Now it was more of an artistâs community, although sometimes it was hard to tell them apart. Heâd lived there because Guruji lived there, a matter of convenience since theyâd spent so much time together.
During those years, heâd learned many things from Guruji â astrology, palmistry, ayurveda, numerology, philosophy, and vaastu, the Vedic science of spatial dynamics. Heâd also sacrificed many things â eating meat, drinking alcohol, sleep, ego. And there were things heâd been forced to confront â his aggression, ambition and lust . . .
A year ago heâd bought a house in The Beach. It was a neighborhood he loved â the small-town ambiance of Queen Street East where the big box stores were unable to wedge themselves into the heavily-treed blocks of houses a stroll away from Lake Ontario. There was a park that ran along the shore, a bicycle path and boardwalk, the beach . . .
Below the surface, a secret motivation had lurked. Heâd needed some distance from Guruji. For the last seven years heâd been under a spiritual injunction to minimize his sexual activity. It was all part of the program, Guruji had lectured him. You cannot let your little head do your thinking. You must show him who is boss. Until you master this on your own, I am the boss. You have a choice to make. If you want to learn subtle things, you must become a subtle person. No meat, no alcohol, no drugs, no sex.
At first, thereâd been slippage â one step back for every three forward. Meat, drugs and alcohol were never a problem but when it came to the opposite sex, it was a struggle. Crowe liked women. Heâd always had more female friends than male, been as willing to share his feelings as assert his opinions, more interested in discussing psychology than sports, as intuitive as he was logical . . .
To forbid himself the pleasure of their intimacy was like denying a part of human experience. But he did so for seven long years. When he moved to The Beach, however, things changed. Parkdale had been a confinement, a starvation diet. The Beach had given him a newfound freedom, like a college student moving out of his parentsâ house to take his first apartment.
But he was never completely out of Gurujiâs sight. He could run but he couldnât hide. Never mind that his birth chart in Gurujiâs hands rendered him an open book. Gurujiâs intuition was so powerful that wherever he turned his attention a glaring spotlight revealed naked truth, warts and all. To associate with Guruji was to give up all disguise and pretense.
Crowe didnât kid himself that moving across town would allow him a secret life. Maybe it was just the remnants of his ego that risked defying a rule laid down years ago. Had lust corrupted their relationship or was it Natureâs way of saying, time to move on? His actions had in turn prompted Gurujiâs response. He would have the rest of his life to digest the ramifications.
The great irony was, today he had not succumbed to desire, despite the temptation of a certain redhead. But heâd struggled with it. Heâd tried to be strong and he knew that Guruji knew, yet still Guruji was on his case . . . It was an exercise in futility trying to understand his guru, whose Tantrik ways had always remained an enigma. So it was now with mixed feelings â both remorse and relief â that Crowe contemplated his future.
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