If anyone needed evidence of Rahu’s power to turn an otherwise charmed life into a shit-storm of trouble, look no further than Lindsay Lohan.

Lindsay (LiLo) Lohan was born July 2, 1986, at 9:50 pm in New York. (Data courtesy of Astrotheme.com) Her mother was a singer/dancer, her father a Wall Street trader. She began a career as a child fashion model when she was three, and was acting in the soap opera Another World by the time she was ten.

Aiming to become a triple threat – actor, singer and dancer – like her role model Marilyn Monroe, over the next ten years she enjoyed an almost unbroken run of good fortune. She acted in several movies, including The Parent Trap, Freaky Friday, Mean Girls and Herbie: Fully Loaded, all of which met with critical and box office success.

With unconscious prescience, however, a critic of The Parent Trap remarked at the time that, “she is more adept than her predecessor [Hayley Mills] at creating two distinct personalities.”

Then her car jumped the curb, literally and figuratively. Like every good drama, there was some fore-shadowing in 2006 when she started partying like a frat girl, and the first of many car accidents occurred. By the time 2007 rolled around, she’d fully morphed into her new-found persona of Good Girl Gone Bad, Really Bad.

It’s been a train wreck ever since: one car accident after another, DUI convictions, community service, in and out of rehab, drug possession, jail time, legal issues, industry doubts about her work ethic, man troubles, girl-on-girl action, probation violations, theft, more legal issues, disastrous box office and critical flops, assault charges, and more family drama than you can shake a stick at.

If you can bear to watch rampant self-destruction in action, this is one of the biggest movies in town, and it’s live!

Note: In the two charts shown below, all rising and planetary positions are sidereal.

Lohan has a relatively unremarkable chart. She has two Raja yogas – Moon/Saturn in the 5/11 axis, Mercury/Venus in the 7th. Her Moon/Jupiter in mutual kendras creates a Kesari yoga (the schmoozer). A Parivartana yoga with Moon/Venus exchanging houses in the 5th and 7th can indicate a person whose mind is always on sex.

There were hints of troubles to come. Venus in the 7th is karako bhavo nashto, indicating relationship problems. Rahu/Ketu in the kendras can manifest as a rebel without a cause.

Most troubling are signs of a disturbed manas, her emotional mind. Destabilizing Rahu is in the 4th house; lord of the 4th, Mars, is afflicted in the 12th; Moon, significator of the manas, is afflicted by a powerful (retrograde) Saturn. These things aren’t enough to put her in a mental institution, but they do encourage visits.

But take an unremarkable chart and give it a good dasa sequence, you get a life like Lohan’s.

Her Moon dasa ran 10 years, January 1990 to January 2000. The Moon mainly works for its nakshatra dispositor Sun. The Sun in the 6th (a malefic in an upachaya house) gives employment and tramples the competition. It doesn’t hurt that the Moon is exalted in the 5th house and participates in two major yogas. Recall, this was the era of her child modelling and soap opera role.

January 2000 to January 2007 marked her seven-year Mars dasa. Mars delivers results for its nakshatra dispositor Venus. Participating in two yogas, Venus in a kendra can deliver a public performance. But Mars’ placement in the dusthana 12th acts out as self-undoing. Thus, a mixed period.

Rahu took control in January 2007 and that’s when the party turned ugly. Rahu rules all poisons – cigarettes, alcohol and drugs – and Lohan has them all in one purse. Rahu dasa will run January 2007 to January never-mind-what-year because she might not make it that far. It’s 18 years, let her do the math. But can she handle 12 more years of what we’ve seen in the past six?

They make me want to go to rehab but I say no, no, no…?

Rahu acts as a proxy for its associate, aspecting or dispositing planet(s). Rahu has no associates or aspecting planets, so it does all the dirty work for its dispositor Mars. With the 4th lord Mars in the 12th, that spells trouble for vehicles or state of mind. That could mean loss of a vehicle, or Lohan could become institutionalized – in hospital, rehab and jail.

Stop the car, I want to take off my anklet.

For confirmation, see Rahu’s placement from Chandralagna – treating the Moon as if it were the ascendant. Thus, Rahu occupies the 12th from the Moon, indicating loss and incarceration. Rahu then acts as a proxy for Mars, lord of the 7th from the Moon, occupying the 8th from the Moon. Relationships, and public relations, could turn negative.

Chandralagna is hemmed by malefics in a Papakartari yoga. Opposing the Moon is Saturn hemmed by malefics in a Papadhi yoga. This pattern puts a terrible strain on the manas that functions as the body’s operating system. Worst scenario, it may presage a nervous breakdown.

Is there a way out of this?

Everyone deserves salvation, and we all like to see an underdog make a comeback. There’s no better time than now for Lohan to make the effort. She runs Saturn bhukti from March 2012 to Jan 2015. Saturn owns two positive houses (1st = Self and 2nd = bankability) and occupies the 11th house, an upachaya (improvement) house where malefics do well.

Saturn occupies its own nakshatra and is exalted in the navamsa chart. The sub-period thus offers promise of renewal through the traditional Saturnine virtues – sobriety, deep self-reflection, and a disciplined lifestyle on both personal and professional levels.

Come on, Lindsay, you can do it. Love yourself and save yourself.